future plans.
….i can honestly say i’m super excited to see the new Teen age mutant ninja turtle movie in the theater…i never do that.
– there’s the beach coming up in a few weeks
– there’s Sugar Brew just around the corner
– Puerto Rico with my tall lady friend bekah (ahhhh)
– Germany for Octoberfest. yeah that one is a hot minute away…an entire year and some months but i am pretty excited about Munich.
– the solo day hikes have been awesome so far!
this list needs to be much longer



This happened. I secreted (ask bekah) that I wanted key lime pie. The next day Jessica made it and I got one! Then… I left it out on the counter the whole weekend instead of packing it in my cooler for my beer fest hiking filled weekend. I for got to secret that part where I eat the key lime pie.
I’m new at it.
Also note I am not saying secreting/ leaking



So recently i’ve become incredibly interested in love, stress, relationships, vulnerability, commitments, and communication.
AND that means every night i’ve been falling asleep to different Ted Talks by the likes of:
Helen Fisher- listen to them all!!!
Amy Cuddy
Esther Perel
Brene Brown- vulnerability
Kelly McGonigal- Stress
Shereen El Feki- virgin births and the middle east
Ash beckham- the courage to open up

anyways. you should download the ted app on your phone and save some of these talks to your phone for random listening.
also Helen Fisher has a bunch of talks located on other websites- and you should probably read all her books.

Ginger Molasses Cookies


And so- trying to get back in to the swing of things i baked
I love the Kitchen Aid mixer Jelaina gave me…i rarely use it but i love it.
I made these Ginger Cookies from ForkKnifeSwoon
I made a few adjustments
1/4 tsp ground cloves instead of 1/2
3/4 cup sugar instead of 1 cup
1 1/2 tsp of fresh minced ginger…next time I may even do 2 tsp
heaping tsp of cinnamon

and definitely 8 min is the perfect baking time to get them crunchy on the outside and chewy in the middle.

….i wanted to eat them all but i dropped some off for my dad, the molasses fanatic, before the party

calculated and reasonable


perhaps a little less calculated and reasonable are the key.
these are my scattered reflections on Costa Rica.
Bekah and i have known each other since we were ten. I let her get lost in the woods and watched her panic.
she is not that girl anymore. And, hopefully i’m not the type to lose friends in the woods on purpose. But maybe i am; social experiments and observing how people react and change have always interested me.

How it happens, you see each other over the holidays, the winter ones, and for a few years joke about vacations together, call each other once a year crying because who can you tell these things to, whatever they are, where you live…no one. and finally you think you’ll never actually travel together and thats when a beer and a bottle of wine, two mac books, two iphone sunset pictures and christmas morning create a trip to costa rica with your oldest friend who you really know nothing about….other than she use to be the girl you lost in the woods and watched her panic.
Bekah is sexy, careless, adorable and genuinely excited and pushing it at all times. I am half of each of those things. You think you know your self until you go on a trip with someone you completely trust but don’t really know at all…and maybe it goes with out saying but, they don’t know you either.
There’s a challenge there, new points of view and frustration but for the most part- its like you’re still producing those American Girl Plays and seeing eye to eye on every step…during the day anyways :)
At night, our approach was entirely different. I’ve never been much for random dudes hitting on me. I’ve never indulged them and tried to get to know them. I make friends, i’m not interested in one night stands.

So Costa freaking Rica… my unpushed attempts at vacation clarity…happened twice, once while bekah was hungover and i ran early on the beach and found myself alone even though its usually so crowded, climbed some lava rocks, sat there, sweated for as long as i could stand and thought..i need to take vacations more.
the second time was while bekah was sexy time salsa dancing with her new found man in San Jose on our last night. i sat down in a corner and started looking at all our pictures and of course had profound thoughts about my life and being more spontaneous. For someone who scoots around winston on her own ….i still don’t feel spontaneous enough. and yeah…i can’t really write these moments of clarity. they just came and went and it was like. oh. vacation. thanks. breath. continue.
then bekah ran up to me almost in tears because she thought i was abducted and she’d spent the last ten minutes frantically looking for me.
we then took tequila shots and there were shards of glass at the bottom of her shot. scary. karma. who knows.
also, bekah has no idea how sexy and inspiring she is. its ridiculous but helpful to see…i’m more than i think of myself too i guess.
part 1.

Oh woah…


Things I have never done…
Y’all I accidentally graduated college- did I work hard ? Yes. But did I ever pick a major? Nope.
Guidance lady calls me unexpectedly to her office- she has all my transcripts on the table.
Julien- you’ve got to decide what you want- you’ve taken too many classes not to know.
Oh.. Ok.. Can I go now?
She picks to versions of my life
A. 5 classes and bam! Psch degree
B. 3 classes and a huge paper bam! International history
So I was like ok that sounds great. Whoops there’s almost a degree I never knew I had in there I’ll take it sure. Fine. Ok.

Nothing planned
Nothing stern and completely life changing
How do you do that. It’s just scary.
I could be really wrong.
I’d hate that.
Chicken shit