So recently i’ve become incredibly interested in love, stress, relationships, vulnerability, commitments, and communication.
AND that means every night i’ve been falling asleep to different Ted Talks by the likes of:
Helen Fisher- listen to them all!!!
Amy Cuddy
Esther Perel
Brene Brown- vulnerability
Kelly McGonigal- Stress
Shereen El Feki- virgin births and the middle east
Ash beckham- the courage to open up

anyways. you should download the ted app on your phone and save some of these talks to your phone for random listening.
also Helen Fisher has a bunch of talks located on other websites- and you should probably read all her books.

Ginger Molasses Cookies


And so- trying to get back in to the swing of things i baked
I love the Kitchen Aid mixer Jelaina gave me…i rarely use it but i love it.
I made these Ginger Cookies from ForkKnifeSwoon
I made a few adjustments
1/4 tsp ground cloves instead of 1/2
3/4 cup sugar instead of 1 cup
1 1/2 tsp of fresh minced ginger…next time I may even do 2 tsp
heaping tsp of cinnamon

and definitely 8 min is the perfect baking time to get them crunchy on the outside and chewy in the middle.

….i wanted to eat them all but i dropped some off for my dad, the molasses fanatic, before the party

calculated and reasonable


perhaps a little less calculated and reasonable are the key.
these are my scattered reflections on Costa Rica.
Bekah and i have known each other since we were ten. I let her get lost in the woods and watched her panic.
she is not that girl anymore. And, hopefully i’m not the type to lose friends in the woods on purpose. But maybe i am; social experiments and observing how people react and change have always interested me.

How it happens, you see each other over the holidays, the winter ones, and for a few years joke about vacations together, call each other once a year crying because who can you tell these things to, whatever they are, where you live…no one. and finally you think you’ll never actually travel together and thats when a beer and a bottle of wine, two mac books, two iphone sunset pictures and christmas morning create a trip to costa rica with your oldest friend who you really know nothing about….other than she use to be the girl you lost in the woods and watched her panic.
Bekah is sexy, careless, adorable and genuinely excited and pushing it at all times. I am half of each of those things. You think you know your self until you go on a trip with someone you completely trust but don’t really know at all…and maybe it goes with out saying but, they don’t know you either.
There’s a challenge there, new points of view and frustration but for the most part- its like you’re still producing those American Girl Plays and seeing eye to eye on every step…during the day anyways :)
At night, our approach was entirely different. I’ve never been much for random dudes hitting on me. I’ve never indulged them and tried to get to know them. I make friends, i’m not interested in one night stands.

So Costa freaking Rica… my unpushed attempts at vacation clarity…happened twice, once while bekah was hungover and i ran early on the beach and found myself alone even though its usually so crowded, climbed some lava rocks, sat there, sweated for as long as i could stand and thought..i need to take vacations more.
the second time was while bekah was sexy time salsa dancing with her new found man in San Jose on our last night. i sat down in a corner and started looking at all our pictures and of course had profound thoughts about my life and being more spontaneous. For someone who scoots around winston on her own ….i still don’t feel spontaneous enough. and yeah…i can’t really write these moments of clarity. they just came and went and it was like. oh. vacation. thanks. breath. continue.
then bekah ran up to me almost in tears because she thought i was abducted and she’d spent the last ten minutes frantically looking for me.
we then took tequila shots and there were shards of glass at the bottom of her shot. scary. karma. who knows.
also, bekah has no idea how sexy and inspiring she is. its ridiculous but helpful to see…i’m more than i think of myself too i guess.
part 1.

Oh woah…


Things I have never done…
Y’all I accidentally graduated college- did I work hard ? Yes. But did I ever pick a major? Nope.
Guidance lady calls me unexpectedly to her office- she has all my transcripts on the table.
Julien- you’ve got to decide what you want- you’ve taken too many classes not to know.
Oh.. Ok.. Can I go now?
She picks to versions of my life
A. 5 classes and bam! Psch degree
B. 3 classes and a huge paper bam! International history
So I was like ok that sounds great. Whoops there’s almost a degree I never knew I had in there I’ll take it sure. Fine. Ok.

Nothing planned
Nothing stern and completely life changing
How do you do that. It’s just scary.
I could be really wrong.
I’d hate that.
Chicken shit

Lets pick the best tweets from 2013


12/30 Sisters before misters

12/17 The “hardest part” about the first date… And yes Ben Lowe is back #wsnc

12/15 Spearmint is our spirit color #clauss

12/14 If its too loud for you it’s too fucking loud for your dog #petsatshows

12/9 Walt Disney called and said I should put some cheese on these sliders ~ JB

12/8 #notsobersunday

@stjulien: Yesterday I said my body was a temple- today I’m eating bojangles …

11/30 @: The only way I can tolerate life is sharing one half pint at a time

11/14 @: Are you a doer or a

08/09: Beverages, video games and women- that’s all that really Matters

4/14 : And then there’s this #silvermoon #bloodymarysunday pre gaming for #riverrunfilm

Ok- pretty weak twitter game last year. Other than hopscotch and river run re tweets .

am i ready?


i have this nice list of things that i’d like to start doing in 2014. or rather…just start doing. 

at least i’m leaving nc this year. 

i’ve definitely improved upon my opening up and keeping in touch with friends, thats what you guys are for…to HELP ME find my way! and i want to be there more…FOR YOU!

call me crying. thats what i’m saying.

i can’t blog. ha. 

so Costa Rica. Face Emotions. Beer. Visit Erin. and some top secret stuff. starting the year off with a bang. 

actually i started the year off alone in my kitchen in the dark..looking at the clock around 11.55 and thinking- i should at least open up that Aces and Ates in the fridge..so good. beer is so good. i opened it. and was reading a blog at the stroke of midnight. IN. THE. DARK. 

its ok. its what i wanted. and now its a nice awkward story to tell people. 

bekah and i are doing the plank challenge before costa rica, i think its a team building exercise/ what else are we gonna talk about? ive never spent more than 24 hours with the girl…oh wait…we went to CHURCH CAMP together. the one where i decided to hang out with the (brace your self) girl who tried to kill her self twice. she ended up getting sent home early. BUT before i knew all that we had a glorious time breaking all the rules and hiding from anything church or team building related. kids should go to camp.

i am going to costa rica and staying in a tree house with sloths and monkeys. or …not. but i will be in costa rica. 

bekah wants me to wear dresses. and that makes me laugh to the point of tears. 

private blog that makes no sense to anyone but my self! (hashtag)